I gotta a problem. A concern, if you catch my drift.

I have a room of my own. I have a laptop, a bottle of wine in the fridge, inspirational pictures on my wall, a thesaurus at my side and the choice between stark silence or music to get the brain cells pumping. I have no obligations, no responsibilities, there is only just me. Yes. I coulda been a writer. I coulda been a contender. But I’m not.

I sit down to write. I prepare the way, I clear my diary. And I end up reading a magazine, heading down the pub, settling down with a DVD and that bottle of wine and suddenly the weekend is over and I haven’t written a line. After all. Who really cares? Does the universe need another wannabe writer? An ex journo with a novel itching to be written.

Thing is. Every book I pick up, I can’t read. Every movie I see, I start to drift off. And therein my lovely is the rub.

Some are so bad I think, can’t I do better? Some are so good, I think this is what I want to write. I want to take words and breathe life into them until they splutter and cough and scream into being. If you close your eyes and sit still for just a moment, you can feel them writhing and slithering into your consciouness, whispering into your ear, sliding down your throat, those sly, sprite-quick words.

Either way, whether the book, the movie, that damn HBO series is good or bad, as soon as I start, the ideas inside my head take shape and grow until I can’t read or watch anymore. I want to write.

The only obstacle stopping me is the fear that if I can’t write, I am nothing.

And time is running out, slipping away like water swirling down that literary plughole. It’s now or never.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. guygarrud
    Mar 05, 2011 @ 01:58:41

    I’d recomend a red rather than a white wine. I’ve never got round to trying the french but have had good experience with Italian reds (by which I mean the Tuscans). Tignanello is the best I’ve ever tasted, then there’s Brunello, Montepulciano (not d’abruzzo!), chianti. But as reliable table wine I’ve always gotten on well with Chilean Merlots and Argentinian Malbecs.

    As for the writing the best I can say is keep going, write, and for pity’e sake finish what you start!


    • Shaun Hamilton
      Nov 10, 2011 @ 10:23:21

      That’s just about the best introduction to writer’s angst I have read in a long time! Best advice I can offer? You’ve got the words, you just need to put them in the right order.


  2. curlyshirley
    Nov 10, 2011 @ 22:18:58

    Awww, how lovely. Thank-you both.


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